Mike's Outhouse

Lost in Translation

2007-12-17T00:51:00.000-08:00

more clichés than you can shake a stick at

Indo boy,

So you’re going home again. Looking forward to seeing me again huh? Wishing to make up for lost time? I’d bet my bottom dollar you are expecting a lot. Better hold your horses but don’t hold your breath mate. I’m afraid faith won’t smile your way this time. I’m sorry to bust your bubble but things are quite different now. There are lots of things going on with my life right now that I don’t think I could squeeze meeting up with you.

I really appreciate all the attention you’ve been giving me. It’s flattering and all. It’s kinda sweet of you to tell me how much I mean to you and how much you miss me, but flattery will get you nowhere. You just can’t hit the broad side of a barn. It’s not you, it’s me. Not! I think it’s time for me to clear the air once and for all. The truth is, it’s you. Physically, you’re just not my type. You have a face only a mother could love. Personality-wise, you don’t quite cut it either. By and large you bore me to death. I say to-mah-to, you say to-may-to. We just don’t click. You don’t make the grade in any way, shape or form. I am way out of your league boy. We are worlds apart. From day one, you never really had the chance.

Ah the first kiss. You should know that you just caught me off guard. I was drunk as a skunk then so I just went with the flow. Yes, I did spend a lot of time with you the last time you were here. The happiest times of your life you said. Sweet. You were like a kid in a candy store. I’m sorry to bust your chops again, but I can’t say the same thing for me. Not even close. I’m not quite sure why I did it. Maybe due to the lack of better things to do. Or maybe I did it out of pity. I gave you an inch and you took a mile. Don’t ever make a mountain out of a molehill. You’re way in over your head to think that there’s more to that. You should have taken it for what it is – pretty much nothing. Nada. Zilch. You even had the gall to ask me to marry you?? Shiver me timbers. Where did that come from? No way Jose! As if! I just told you that ‘it’s too soon’ because I didn’t want to be a party-pooper, but you should know that it will be a cold day in hell before that happens.

You’ve been a thorn in my side. You’re advances are as welcome as a skunk at a lawn party. Didn’t you notice that I’ve been avoiding you like the plague? I wonder why subtlety can get lost on some people. Ignoring your calls and messages wasn’t an invitation for you to try to do more, comprende? I am so sick of it.

I’m terribly sorry for being so matter-of-fact. I didn’t want to get down to the nitty-gritty. I wanted you to get in on your own, read between the lines and put two and two together. But the elevator doesn’t seem to go to the top floor. Maybe I was speaking in riddles. I wish I drove the point home this time. I hope I made myself as clear as crystal. Hurting now? I couldn’t care less. You had it coming. You only have yourself to blame.

It’s time to accept reality and face the music. The light’s on but nobody is home. There’s no sense in beating a dead horse. No use crying over spilled milk. If I were in your shoes, I’d take it like a man and not bury my head in the sand. It’s over. The fat lady has sung.

Shit happens.

Goodbye =)

Dutch girl

Where's My Kiss?

2007-11-04T03:30:00.000-08:00

This was written a while back. My lowly attempt at poetry

Where's my kiss?
The kiss I long for and miss
Where's my kiss?
Your lips locked in mine is pure bliss
Tastes better than ham and cheese
I wonder when I'll get my kiss
Hopefully before the next price increase
Before gasoline prices hit the 40s
Where's my kiss? Though your heart isn't mine but his
Stand by your word and keep your promise
Where the hell is my kiss?
Can I have it before I die please?
Before I fade into the abyss
Pucker-up Yo' Miss

Parting Isn't A Sweet Sorrow

2007-09-26T00:19:00.000-07:00

There is truth in every Cliché

Dutch girl,

I never really believed in love at first sight, but when I first laid my eyes on you and my heart went giddy, I knew I was hooked. You blew me away. I had butterflies in my stomach, not knowing what to say and do. As luck would have it, I was able to muster enough courage to break the ice and strike a conversation with you. I realized then that the clock was ticking, as I was about to leave on a jet plane in a few hours. I said to myself that I’m gonna kiss this girl, come hell or high water. No guts, no glory. Though haste makes waste, a faint heart never a true love knows. So I stopped beating around the bush, took up the gauntlet and went for the jugular. It was like heaven on earth when you kissed me back. Suddenly, it felt like everything's coming up roses. I was grinning from ear to ear.

Absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder, as I quickly learned. It seemed like every waking hour was spent thinking about you. I’ve always felt the wooziness whenever the kiss we shared crosses my mind. I tried mightily to get you out of my mind, immersing myself in my work, to keep my sanity. I was busting my balls, so to speak. Did a lot of other things too, as all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. I knew I should not get my hopes high, for your heart belongs to someone else. As they say, when something seems too good to be true, it must be.

I knew my back was up against the wall. If I wanted anything to come out of this, I should be ready for an uphill climb, a no holds barred fight, just to have a shot. I did get myself prepared to do whatever it takes, go out with guns blazing and to throw everything but the kitchen sink. It was totally out of character and not my cup of tea, but I was willing to change overnight. A man can not discover new oceans unless he has courage to lose sight of the shore. It was wrong, but a man has got to do, what a man has got to do. All is fair in love and war, I said to myself. I was armed to the teeth, even prepared to lose face, to get burned. I may not have much to offer and I’m definitely not the whole enchilada, nor do I have the whole caboodle, but what I felt was true. I wasn’t horsing around. I am definitely not a fly by night kind of guy.

So I did whatever little things I could. It wasn’t much because I was far and away. It was a tough row to hoe but I gave it a go. It felt like I wasn’t given my fair share, but beggars can’t be choosers. I called whenever I can, even if it was costing me an arm and a leg. Never did I complain, for the sound of your voice is like music to my ears.

Things started quite well, or so I thought, until everything went downhill. The cold shoulder you’ve been giving me all this time is like a dagger to the heart. I needed them like I need a hole in my head. I now feel that I’ve overstayed my welcome and that I have bitten more than I could chew. Jockeying for position in your life was more difficult than I initially thought. Maybe I was blinded with the false hopes that the ground is pushing up daisies that I failed to see the complete picture. I was looking at the world through rosy colored glasses.

This whole emotional roller coaster is driving me nuts, and I don’t think I can take it anymore. All is my fault though. I should have looked before I leapt. I’m now at the end of my rope, with no lifeline to take. I have everything figured out finally. It took a while I know, and it ain’t even rocket science. I was dumb as a stump. All I had was a fool’s gold.

I’ll be going home soon. All my bags are packed and I’m ready to go. This is the moment I’ve been looking forward to the whole time, the chance to see you again. God only knows how much I missed you. Sadly, that’s not an option I could take. I am choosing to put an end to this lunacy, to my fatuous desires, with the hopes that I’ll eventually come out of this unscathed. I am waiving the white flag, rather than prolong the agony of a long lost battle. I admit failure. I was dealt a fatal blow and I got cleaned out. I am milk toast. I can’t stand the heat, so I’m getting out of the kitchen. I’ve seen the handwriting in the wall. I desperately wanted to believe that there is still light at the end of the tunnel, but that would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. I have no more ace up my sleeve. Not the ghost of a chance.

There are no words for emptiness. With visions of redemption, I walk against the crowd. I have to lick my wound, pick-up the pieces and get back up on the horse.

Goodbye is not an easy word to say.

Life sucks.

Indo boy

Bahasa 101

2007-09-24T00:27:00.000-07:00

I, me – saya, aku
we, us – kita
them – mereka
him, her – dia
this – ini
that - itu
what – apa
when – kapan
why – kanapa
how – bagaimana

one – satu
two – dua
three – tiga
four – empat
five – lima
six – anam
seven – tudju
eight – delapan
nine – sembilan
ten – sepuluh
100 – seratus
1,000 – seribu
10,000 – sepuluh ribu
100,000 – seratus ribu
1,000,000 – satu juta
1,000,000,000 – satu milyar
9,876,543 – sembilan juta delapan ratus tudju nam ribu lima ratus empat tiga

mau – want
perlu, butuh – need
harus – must
ada – have
yes – ya
no, not – tidak, bukan
makan – eat
minum – drink
lapar – hungry
haus – thirsty
sakit – sick, ill
sehat – well
same, similar – sama
beda – different
good – bagus
bad – jelek
water – air (a-īr)
wind - angin
basketball – bola basket
road hump – pulisi tidur (sleeping police)
fuck you - pakyu

Oh Johnny

2007-09-23T23:58:00.000-07:00

Courtesy of Chocoboy

Oh Johnny let’s not park here

Oh Johnny let’s not park

Oh Johnny let’s not

Oh Johnny let’s

Oh Johhny

Oh….

It wasn't me

2007-09-23T22:36:00.000-07:00

“There is nothing that will kill a man so soon as having nobody to find fault with but himself.” – T.S. Eliot

I received this email today from an officemate notorious for pointing to the direction of other people when something goes wrong:

Mea culpa!!

What is this?? Is he owning responsibility this time? I didn't think I'd see the day...
But then the email ends with:

Just goes to prove yet again I can't trust anyone to do even the minor things without cocking it up!!

Namo!!!

It seems that the only people who can regularly be relied on to claim responsibility for their actions are terrorist bombers.

Why blog?

2007-09-23T22:05:00.000-07:00

This blog was born out of my desire to have an outlet for my creative genius, an avenue for intelligent discourses and discussions regarding science, politics, religion and society.

Or not..

I’m currently stuck in this godforsaken place called Banda Aceh, and I feel the need to have an alternative to add to my usual night activities of watching DVDs (which is taking its toll on my pocket after hundreds bought the past 2 years), staring at the ceiling while filling my lungs with smoke, and abusing myself (my fave btw). Another option I considered is to start working-out to achieve that ripped and chiseled look women desire. I’m choosing the one less likely to hurt my sensitive back. Besides, everyone else is doing it so might as well join the blogwagon. Not that I have anything interesting to write about…who cares?